We Can't End Domestic Violence Without Talking About Domestic Violence

Part of my job as a domestic violence victim’s advocate was to give prevention presentations to middle school and high school students. Asking school administrators to speak with their students would usually go one of two ways:

They would either tell me domestic violence wasn’t a problem in their school or that I could talk to their students but couldn’t mention sex whatsoever (meaning I had to cut out the part about sexual assault).

Are you kidding me?!

These conversations took place over 5 years ago and I still get hot with frustration when I think about them.

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Having conversations about domestic violence and sexual assault is never going to be easy. But it’s usually the difficult conversations that are the ones we need to have the most.

Especially with teenagers.

Teenagers are just starting to enter the dating world. While we can model a healthy relationship to teenagers, developing their own relationships is a different ball game.

It’s like when your kid watches you drive a car for years, but learning to drive one themselves is more complicated.

How can we expect teens to recognize an abusive relationship and know what to do about it if we aren’t willing to talk to them about relationship abuse?

It’s our job to teach children and teenagers how to live their healthiest, safest, and happiest life. We teach them stranger danger, fire safety, and to avoid drugs and alcohol because we feel it is our duty.

Shouldn’t it also be our duty to teach them how to love and be loved safely as well?

We're never going to end domestic violence and sexual assault if we aren’t willing to talk about it.

We have to understand and accept that domestic violence and sexual assault happen everywhere and can affect anyone.

Right now, it’s hard for people to think that these things could happen to them or their children. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, more than 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by a partner.

Based off of that statistic, we can’t deny that domestic violence and sexual assault will never happen to us or to our children. We also shouldn’t be embarrassed if these things do happen to us.

Experiencing domestic violence or sexual assault doesn’t mean we’re weak or stupid for getting into that type of situation. It can happen to anyone. There isn’t a single human on this planet is immune to domestic violence or sexual assault.

The first step to ending domestic violence and sexual assault is having conversations about domestic violence and sexual assault. With our friends. With our kids. With our family members. With each other.